Ellen In Amerika!"MY EMIGRATION TO AMERICA AND MY ADJUSTMENT TO LIFE IN CALIFORNIA SINCE SEPTEMBER 2008"

My good Dutch friend Monique has always been able to make me laugh so hard. She and I have been colleagues at the ABN AMRO Bank in Amsterdam. We got along since the first day we met. We shared some very personal things and because of that and her great sense of humor, we stayed friends after she left the bank. This morning, Pacific time, I received an email from her that made my day. I kept laughing about it throughout the day. I hope this will make you laugh as much as I did. I have to warn you, it is a tad juicy

Here it is:

Making a Baby….

The Smith family was unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, ‘Well, I’m off now. The man should be here soon.’

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. ‘Good morning, Ma’am’, he said, ‘I’ve come to…’

‘Oh, no need to explain,’ Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, ‘I’ve been expecting you.’

‘Have you really?’ said the photographer. ‘Well, that’s good. Did you know babies are my specialty?’

‘Well that’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.

After a moment she asked, blushing, ‘Well, where do we start?’

‘Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.’

‘Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work out for Harry and me!’

‘Well, Ma’am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.’

‘My, that’s a lot!’, gasped Mrs. Smith.

‘Ma’am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be In and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.’
‘Don’t I know it,’ said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. ‘This was done on the top of a bus,’ he said.

‘Oh, my God!’ Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

‘And these twins turned out exceptionally well – when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with..’

‘She was difficult?’ asked Mrs. Smith.

‘Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look’

‘Four and five deep?’ said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

‘Yes’, the photographer replied. ‘And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling – I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.’

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. ‘Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh…equipment?’

‘It’s true, Ma’am, yes.. Well, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away..’

‘Tripod?’

‘Oh yes, Ma’am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big to be held in the hand very long.’

Mrs. Smith fainted…

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Today, Dan worked from home again, so he brought me to work. That was nice, because it is windy and cold here. I was happy to see the kids again. They were awesome. I brought mini cupcakes with me, and they loved them! One of the boys asked me if the cupcakes would give him superpower. I told him, sure. It will give you superpower of ……. kindness, superpower of …….. being nice to the teachers and other kids and superpower ……… to be happy all the time. He was a bit confused, lol. He thought he would get superpower to jump, to shoot and kill Bummer!!

Yesterday, I went back to see the doctor, and he was concerned about my neck. The impact on my head had injured my neck as well. He gave me some painkillers with codeine for the night. He sent me to a PT facility. I was able to get a direct appointment for the afternoon. The physical therapist did a thorough job. She examined my neck and told me I had to do lots of exercises at home and also ice my head and neck after each session of exercises. She massaged my neck and found some pretty sore spots. Then I got some electro pads on my neck and shoulder for 10 minutes. That was actually very nice. After more than an hour, I was good to go home. Thursday I have to come back.

For dinner, I made fresh green asparagus with Ham/egg/green onions in melted butter, sprinkled with shredded cheese. Ohhhh, that was good food. Mmmmmmmmm

It was a lot of work to peel all the asparagus (and there are so many). As for meat, I still had some Shoarma seasoning and decided to make Shoarma stew with homemade garlic sauce and salsa sauce. Oops, that tasted so yummie!. Instead of pita bread rolls, I had tortillas. It tasted different, but it was fine for now.

This evening I had to fill out a lot of forms for the insurance. My goodness, so many papers to sign. I hope this will be the last thing to do regarding my little accident.

Dan and his stepsisters are emailing back and forth about our upcoming family reunion in the Smokey Mountains in June. I saw the pictures of the lodge we will stay in and it looks great. I cannot wait to see my new family in law again and the ones I have not met yet! It is amazing that I will be a part of this. I would never ever imagine this 5 years ago To be part a whole new family and going to the Smokey Mountains! So much to be grateful for.

I wish you all a wonderful rest of the week and a relaxing weekend!

This light show is some I’ve never seen before! It is actually a bit scary. Sit back and enjoy and please let me know what you think of this art of light!

I read this story on Us Girls..Our Views blog, and because I was so moved by this story, I thought let me pass the message on. As Laura wrote, you never know.

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A mystery British Soldier called home from Afghanistan to tell his girlfriend that he loved her.  He left a 90-second message pouring out his heart, telling her that it was bad where he was, but that he loved her, that he’d fight for her, protect her, and oh, by the way, would she marry him? But he dialed the wrong number.  And his girlfriend, Samantha, wasn’t on the other end of the line. Dianne Potts got the message instead.  “It was about half seven in the evening when I listened to my voicemail. From the way the young chap was talking it was clear he was a soldier.  I could tell he was speaking from a phone booth, the line was quite crackly. I was shocked, and had to listen to it again before the message sunk in.” She contacted the Daily Mail, who published the article, along with a YouTube recording of the message, with the hopes that someone would recognize the young man’s voice, his story, his girlfriend’s name.  And get the message back to Miss Samantha, so she can give her soldier an answer. This is going viral… I’ve read it in two places now.  Seems like a lot of people are pulling for this couple.  Pass the message on.  You never know who you might know that might know someone else that might know someone else… remember that old shampoo commercial?  “You tell your friend, who tells her friends, and they tell their friends, and they tell their friends…” and the pictures just kept multiplying. Maybe we can do that for something a little more worthwhile than shampoo.